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You’re Not Alone…

Jul 1, 2018

Yesterday was the first time I’ve been out of the house since my miscarriage.

You can read that story by clicking here.

 

I decided to pick up this beautiful blush backpack as a little treat to myself….because retail therapy (is fleeting) but real.

 

Later in the afternoon, I met my newest baby cousin (she is only 7 weeks old and absolutely ADORABLE).

I held her in my arms, kissed her little head, let Audri hold her, and it was precious.

When we got home, Paul said he was really proud of me, and that he couldn’t bring himself to hold the baby.

Even though he wanted to celebrate this new life, it was too soon and too overwhelming.

I truly think God is giving me a supernatural strength.

Thanks to your prayers and His sovereignty.

I’ve been through many traumatizing things in my short life, and each time I come out stronger but not hardened, cynical, or detached.

This is such a gift from God!

Here are a few experiences I’ve had that could have really kept me from being an optimistic, hopeful, spiritual person:

  • I was sexually molested (repeatedly) by the same girl when I was 7. She was not 7. She showed me “how babies are made.”
  • I was diagnosed with Epilepsy when I was 14 and have endured many focal and generalized seizures.
  • I was raped my first week of college by a “Christian” athlete (he tricked me into getting his friend a water bottle from his room, ran after me, locked the door, and ….) which really shook my faith for a couple of years. Cue my faith rebellion.
  • I was a single mom for a few years and time/money was extremely tight. This was a huge time of growth for my emotional, mental, and spiritual wellbeing.
  • The unexpected and sudden loss of this baby.
  • Whatever comes next…

 

All of this is to say, I know when God is trying to grow me.

  • It’s right now.
  • In the pit.
  • When I’m so angry at Him.
  • When life is unfair.
  • When I’m walking in His will and I can’t feel Him near.

 

I know God is preparing me for something and Satan is trying everything in his power to get me to shut down and remain hopeless.

If you’re going through something, anything, that sucks right now – I hope you find peace by listening to this song.

I’ve heard it many times but after I applied the lyrics to my aching heart, I was able to worship, let go, and let God back in…

 

 

Remember, God is trying to grow you – not stunt your growth. And whatever you’ve been through, know you’re not alone.

 

 

 

Photography Bryan Grayson

Jul 1, 2018 | Faith
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